(EXPLETIVE DELETED) the LA Times

As a former Marine Corps noncommissioned officer, I read this Los Angeles Times op-ed with a sense of astonishment. Not even the Times, as bad a paper as it is, could publish something this egregious. Whoops, they did. This piece has prompted me to dig out the Top Secret NCO Code Words. If vulgarity and profanity offend you, read no further.

Paul Whitefield wrote the following:

LISTENING TO President Bush's speech on Iraq earlier this month, my first thought was: "Where the heck are we going to get 21,500 more soldiers to send to Iraq?" Our Reserves are depleted, our National Guard is worn out, our Army and Marine Corps are stretched to the limit.
Then it hit me: Re-up our Vietnam War veterans and send them.

They're trained. They're battle-hardened. Many already have post-traumatic stress disorder. Also, some have their own vehicles — Harleys mostly, which are cheap to run, make small targets and are highly mobile. I'll even bet that lots of these guys still have guns (you know, just in case).

Paul, I was mentored by Vietnam veterans as a young enlisted Marine, and I work with many--both those who made the military a career, and single-term enlistees--in both my job and my community. They are decent-minded, honorable men who served their country, raised families, and now spoil their grandchildren. They are truly some of the best and the brightest of America, not those worthless asswipes that loudly proclaim themselves to be such. In short, Paul, they are everything that you aren't. I don't know how tall you are, Paul, but whatever that figure is, I had no idea that they could stack shit that high.

Now, Paul, that guy who sits at the freeway offramp with a sign saying "homeless Vietnam Vet" is not a veteran. Trust me, the military doesn't have panhandling battalions. I imagine, Paul, that you pay lip service to the notion that one should not engage in stereotyping of others--well, unless the target of the stereotype is someone from outside your pre-approved, America-hating, politically-correct world--such as those of us to whom the words "duty," "honor," and "country" are more than mere abstractions or the punchline to a joke that mocks them--whereupon you will simultaneously stereotype away and deny that you are engaged in stereotyping.

Having read your screed, I now eagerly await the rerun of the "24" season opener and the release of this season on DVD, so that I might let out a loud, motivated "OOH-RAH!" as Los Angeles gets vaporized by a nuclear weapon. I think that I can authoritatively say that the best part of you ran down your momma's leg. Indeed, you are the poster child for abortion. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, pal.