Ryan Braun is the Brewers third baseman. He's been having a good year, to put it mildly. So, here are a few facts about Ryan.
1. Ryan Braun doesn't need a pitcher to make a mistake in order to go deep.
2. Before Chuck Norris and Fred Thompson go to sleep, they check under the bed and in the closet for Ryan Braun.
3. Ryan Braun doesn't need to play defense. His bat alone wins games.
4. Ryan Braun doesn't steal bases. He stares at the catcher, and the catcher waves him over.
5. Bats don't kill pitches. Ryan Braun kills pitches.
6. Ryan Braun can divide by zero faster than Chuck Norris.
7. Ryan Braun doesn't need a pink bat to hit a clutch home run.
8. Superman may wear Chuck Norris pajamas, but Chuck Norris wears Ryan Braun pajamas.
9. A line drive from Ryan Braun's bat can knock out Godzilla.
10. There are no earthquakes... just times when Ryan Braun's home runs land.